#ShamelessSelfPromoSaturday: 2020-03-14

I've spent much of this past week in the "What I Really Do" position.
(This blog post is cross-posted on Publish0x, Cent, andmy personal blog.)

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Technically, I've been doing quite a bit of writing. However, since most of my writing has involved taking swings at Republicans and trolls (please forgive the redundancy), my personal projects have suffered. Thanks to Jackary Salem's wonderful beta-reading, I hope to complete at least one more chapter of Our Friend, the Vampire: Blood Sweeter Than Chocolate before the end of the weekend.

On a slightly more serious note: many of us are going to be stuck in our homes for a significant amount of time. If any of my real-life friends or online mutuals want to hang out and enjoy some incredibly-low-limit poker (I'm talking 1 satoshi/2 satoshi No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em), let me know. I'll log onto Blockchain Poker and create a private table where up to 9 of us can play. If you're short on funds, don't worry; new users get a 100 satoshi bonus, and the site has a faucet that users can tap for 50 satoshi when their bankroll hits 0. And if you're new to poker, don't worry about that, either; I'd be happy to set the action timer to 15 minutes and talk you through the basics. I can't help you win the World Series of Poker, but I can teach you how to make the most off of your loose-aggressive opponents on the site's public tables.

* * *


I check my email obsessively. In fact, I have 4 email addresses:
  1. [email protected]: my address for personal matters and side-gigs. It's also the favored email for PG-13 Twitter mutuals and Bitcoin-related topics.
  2. [email protected]: my address for anything related to information technology. If you want to talk about software testing or other aspects of the IT field, this is the address to use. However, the more I drift from software testing to writing, the more likely I am to delete this email completely.
  3. [email protected]: my address for most of my writing which includes this blog, fanfiction, The Stewards and the Sinners, and Blooming in Adversity.
  4. [email protected]: my address for anything pertaining to gambling, casinos, and Las Vegas. When my budget gets under control, I plan to do more with this email account.
I currently have two accounts on Twitter:
  1. A PG-13 account where I keep cursing to a minimum, and I don't follow sex authors or sex workers.
  2. An Adults-Only account, where anything goes as long as it's not illegal or stupid. (Warning: you will see naked women, curse words, and naked women cursing.)
Another note on Twitter: please report and block @LoonyLiberalHah. That was my previous account; it got hacked, and Twitter decided that an image of my passport isn't sufficient to prove that I'm the real Scott Watson.

I'm on LinkedIn. I don't mean to brag, but I was a damn good software tester. I have 15 years of experience and 5 certifications (7 if you count the A+ and the MCP). And I hope to prove to you all that I'm a damn good writer as well.

I'm on MeWe. Admittedly, I haven't done much here yet; apparently, you only get one chance to import contacts, and if you say “No,” then tough shit. If you want an invite, let me know.

  • Cent: This cryptocurrency blog allows users to earn ethereum by sorting comments, posting comments on bounty posts, and publishing their own posts and receiving seed payments from other users. Unlike Publish0x and Mamby, Cent will require users to spend their own money - whether earned or deposited - to seed posts and post bounties.
  • Clarity: You can consult with me at the rate of $1/minute (Clarity won't let me drop the price any lower) on topics such as software quality assurance or writing.
  • Fiverr: You can hire me for comedic writing, tutorials, or limited-engagement software quality assurance.
  • Gigbucks: You can hire me for comedic writing and software testing as well.
  • Mamby: This social media site... look, I won't sugarcoat it; it rewards shitposters with satoshis. You don't need to spend any money to help me out on this site; any engagement results in rewards. So please like, comment, and share with wild abandon.
  • Publish0x: This blog site gives bloggers a chance to get paid in cryptocurrency. Users can tip authors once every 10 minutes. Even better: tipping does not cost users any money, and users can keep anywhere from 0%-80% of the tip for themselves. I currently have the maximum of three blogs on Publish0x:
    • Bard Against Humanity: Essentially, I'm trying to profit off of my misanthropy. Yuuki Terumi has the Black Beast, and I have a blog. We are not the same.
    • Politicked Off: I feel a bit silly snarking on the GOP and their allies pro-bono. Wouldn't it be swell if I could get paid for it? I hope your answer is “Yes!”
    • What the Bet?: A humorous take on gambling fallacies, gamblers, and “strategies.”
  • Verblio: I've submitted some pieces here, but I haven't received responses yet. In the meantime, you can hire me here to write blog posts on a variety of topics.
  • Zeerk: I offer gig-based services such as comedic writing and software testing.


I don't want to alienate my mutuals by asking for money. However, I have no qualms with sharing referral/affiliate links for sites and apps that I use. When people sign up using my links, I receive a small commission based on the new users' activities on the sites/apps. I don't intend to engage in hard-selling or spamming, but if you decide to use any of the services below, I'd be grateful if you could use the links I provide here.
  • AllCoins: To be frank, this site angers me. It does "tricks" with its buttons such as making them shake or making them moving targets. And it's caked with ads. However, if you want to check it out, please use my link.
  • Bitcoinker: Users can tap this faucet up to 120 times per day with a 5-minute waiting period. It's also fairly unintrusive once you figure out where the pertinent text is in comparison to the ads.
  • BitFun: The downside is that both the games and the site itself are riddled with ads. On the upside, users can tap the faucet every 3 minutes.
  • Blockchain Poker: The site offers ring games, sit-and-gos, and tournaments where you can play Texas Hold-'Em for cryptocurrency. If you play tight-aggressive, you'll get the pot more often than not. And if you're playing at low-limit tables, a string of bad beats will only cost you a few cents.
  • Bonus Bitcoin: You earn satoshis by using their faucet or completing offers. They also offer a daily 5% interest rate with no minimum balance.
  • Contiply: The site offers a variety of ways to earn coins, which can be converted to USD. You can earn coins by using the faucet, filling out surveys, completing offers, playing a multipler game, or participating in their chatroom. Cointiply also has a moble app, which it rewards you with coins for installing and using.
  • CrytpoBrowser: Essentially, it's a version of Google Chrome which mines bitcoin while you websurf.
  • ESFaucet: This is another annoying site that ups the ad ante with new browser windows. However, it does provide multiple faucets for multiple cryptocurrencies, so that might be worth the pop-ups.
  • FreeBCC: This site has a customizable faucet: users can choose how many tokens they collect and the faucet's cooldown time. The only drawback is that the site likes to throw the occasional “SOLVE THIS CAPTCHA OR WE'LL BAN YOUR ASS!” at users.
  • FreeBitCoin: The site provides you with a faucet, a variety of ways to bet your satoshis, and an annual 4.08% interest rate if you store 30,000 or more satoshis on their site. This is where I keep a majority of my bitcoin balance due to the daily interest. At 40K satoshi, 7 satoshi per day doesn't sound like much. But if I can keep earning cryptocurrency, then daily interest on... oh, say... one-tenth of a complete bitcion would be significant.
  • OneHash: This is, by far, my favoite Bitcoin casino. It provides fun games, a faucet that users can tap 30 times in 24 hours, and a chatroom that awards free Satoshi. If you see some gibbering fool named “OddsmanJTo” in the chatroom... yeah, that's I.
  • SatoshiLabs: I'll be blunt; the site sucks. Yes, there's a faucet and a so-so roulette variant, but the poorly-implemented "idle game," the new tabs that load when you click on almost anything, and the high withdrawal minimum make interacting with this site an absoulte burden. Still, if you feel masochistic or determined, please use my link, and don't say that I didn't warn you.
  • TrustDice: This casino offers a variety of games, though the faucet leaves much to be desired (50 satoshi every six hours). However, it's still worth the occasional login.

  • Corruption among the Chirping: How Twitter's Refusal to Enforce Their Own Rules Emboldened Cyberbullies and Terrorists: Yes, this was prompted by my own real-life experiences. What of it? A Google search on Twitter abuse yields over 664 million results, so I'm far from the only victim. My plan is to find 15-20 brave victims to talk about their ordeals, along with maybe a few disgruntled Twitter employees to provide insight on why Twitter is so lax in upholding their Terms of Service.
    I'm not going to call this a dead project, but I will admit that writing this book properly will take more effort and assistance than I can currently afford. However, I really want to write this book.
  • Giving the Bird Instead of Lending a Hand: Organizations that Pay Their Workers to Disenfranchise the Needy: I have enough anecdotes – both from my own personal experiences and from word-of-mouth – that a majority of the groups and companies that are supposed to be dedicated to helping the most needy among us are literally getting paid to torment their charges. Workers trying to pick fights with homeless people, health care professionals browbeating patients, and workers who actively prevent the wronged from reporting the workers' misdeeds. These “workers” are collecting paychecks – some funded by religious donations or taxpayer dollars – to bully those who deserve it the least.
    My inclination for this project is to make it a complete website with, at the very least, an online forum. It would be an online space to shine a negative light on groups that are neglecting or abusing the needy. It would be non-profit, with any proceeds going to those few organizations that do not abandon their duties and demand a paycheck.
  • “How Do I Hired Person?”: What Corporate America Gets Wrong about Talent Acquisition: Job-hunting sucks. In some instances, trying to get the job is far more stressful than the job itself. Having been on both sides of the job-seeking fence, I can safely state that companies make many errors – both unintentional and deliberate – that aggravate job-seekers and that could cost a company a gold-star hire.
    I have a mostly-complete first draft, but it's short. I'm researching ways to make it longer and more entertaining. Either I could work harder to find job-seeking nightmare stories, or I could reach out to a college university professor to make the book more academic.
  • Sin City Communique: Think The Daily Show with fouler language and possibly some adult hi-jinks, and that's the premise. Once a week, the “Sin City Communique” team would present a one-hour “news” special highlighting the low-lights of the week.
    This project is stalled indefinitely, though if I can find some hilarious mutuals that wouldn't mind a recorded skype session, a few YouTube videos might be a possibility.
  • Sin City Spendthrifts: Once upon a time, there was a wonderful website called “Cheapo Vegas.” The website used research and humor to rate casinos/hotels on a variety of criteria. It was an invaluable and entertaining resource. However, Mark “Stinky” Sinclair – the head writer – passed away in 2006, and the site's new owners ran the site into the ground.
    This project is stalled indefinitely. And considering the possibility that casinos might shut down completely, I have yet another reason to put this project on the backburner.
  • Vlobberish: This video blog would be based on the following premise: “People misinterpret what I say literally every single day, so why not have fun with it?” My plan would be to post a video once a week where I talk about a certain topic for about 5 minutes. I then invite my followers to deliberately and humorously twist, distort, and warp my words in the most outrageous, hilarious, and mind-bogglingly ways possible. At the end of the week, I would pick the “interpretation” that made me laugh the most and award the creator with a prize worth $25 USD.
    My current plan is to start posting 2 videos each Sunday (one to announce the previous week's winner, and a second one for that week's contest) between mid-April and the end of April.

The Stewards and the Sinners: What started as an idea for a fighting game is evolving into so much more. The setting is Earth, 1100 years after World War III rendered the Earth inhospitable. The fall of humanity prompted the Goddesses, Gods, and other deities to break their vows of non-interference and restore Earth. The Gods created Earth Elves, Depth Elves, Gear Elves, and beastkin. They also helped to contain the humans when they awoke, and they adopted mortal forms with which they could personally guide the sentient races.

This one setting has prompted the creation of the following concurrent stories:
  • Big Sister Monogatari (Undertale-style video game): Chandra Llewellyn is a 13-year-old human girl who is both excited and nervous. Her parents told her 8 months ago that they're expecting a baby boy to join their family. Wanting to ensure a joyous life for her little brother, Chandra prays. Summerstar Elise Goodbody, an orc/fey sorceress, answers Chandra's prayers and awakens Chandra's ability to cast holy-based magic. The story focuses on Chandra, who struggles to be a phenomenal big sister to her brother while adapting to her awakened power and dealing with her own ascension to adulthood.
    This could very well be the WAFFiest/fluffiest story of this universe. I've already had ideas for 5 friends; a tomboy inventor, a shy-yet-kindhearted crossdresser, a ballerina primadonna, a dragon beastkin karateka, and a half Earth Elf/half human farmer girl. I also have ideas for a variety of allies including Honor Guards (party members who “fight” alongside Chandra and friends) and Retainers (non-combatants who increase item-carrying capacity and provide buffs/healing/assistance in exchange for a small percentage of earned platinum bits). Most of the techniques that Chandra and her allies learn will help manage the Bullet Hell that opponents will throw at them, such as destroying bullets, slowing bullets down, or even preventing enemies from taking action. Since Chandra and her friends have been having adventures in my dreams, I might at the very least whip up some bio sheets.
  • The Christmas Capers (Top-down shooting-and-fighting video game(s)): Santa Claus is real, but the North Pole is under attack. Two human males, a sugar plum fairy, a Gear Elf, a shinobi elf, and a burly humanoid reindeer rush to the rescue.
    I have an overview, but that's it. This work is stalled for now.
  • The Greatest Power (Drama/slice-of-life animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): A teen prodigy works with his uncles, friends, and heartthrobs to achieve all of their dreams. Not only will they have to contend with villains and fiendish plots, they also have to confront their own fears and weaknesses.
    I have an overview, but that's it. My original plan was to save this for later, but I may need to bump it up on my queue so I can world-build in more age-appropriate media and give some detestable villains a chance to practice their sinister crafts.
  • Harlots' Honor (X-rated animation(s), graphic novel(s) or visual novel(s)): An Earth Elf female, a wolf beastkin female, a goblin female, a Gear Elf female, a mouse beastkin female, and a Depth Elf work in a brothel in Sydney, Australia, the headquarters of the Sex Workers' Guild.
    This one can put an end to all of my careers (and my life, to boot) if I don't handle it properly. Before I even write the prologue, I'll need to get feedback from trusted erotic authors and sex workers.
  • Head-Turner and the Hooligan (X-rated animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): Jonwyn Joyhaven is your average male mouse beastkin starting college with his best friend, a freelance nun, and battling the student criminals of Wreck Your Shit Unlimited. His life takes a turn for the bizarre when he accidentally catches Angela Tremaine – a breathtaking female cat beastkin – masturbating. This leads to a series of events that leads them down the path of romance. Then Jonwyn learns that Grimm Warlark – the head of Wreck Your Shit Unlimited – is Angela's step-brother.
    Yes, my Twitter role-play past was painful. But one of the more enjoyable aspects was how much of a weirdness magnet Jonwyn was. I decided to keep that aspect, but do a page-one rewrite of his story. His desire to be a knight and his rival-turned-ally, Ripper, stay intact. The rest? Pure farce and parody with sex scenes. I have nothing written yet, but I have plenty of ideas.
  • The Heroine of her Beloved's Stories (Mega Man/Metroidvania-style video game): Junetta Grievecastle was cursed at birth with a demon – Kedenker – as her right arm. Fortunately for Junetta, Kedender was far more loyal to Junetta than to his own dark masters, so the two worked together to make Earth a better place. However, both are in for the fight of their lives when they plunge into the subconsciousness of Hilda Incdhearg to awaken her from her coma.
    It's a thinly-veiled secret that one of my favorite video games of all time is Magician Lord. I'm also a bit of a Mega Man fan, though I'll never understand how Dr. Wily manages to survive past the prologue of the first game, much less for 32 years. So let's squish the two games together, add a love triangle, season the mixture liberally with side quests and bonus bosses, and voila! However, this, too, will be further down the line.
  • The Jewels of the Desert (Comedy/Adventure animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): Eight ostracized high-school students awaken super powers. Adopting alter egos, they have to contend with bullies and villains while keeping their secrets from their families and maintaining good grades.
    I received some compelling feedback from a beta-reader that this should be a graphic novel instead of a written narrative. I agree, but there are two problems: I'll need to convert the work to-date to a more amenable format (such as a manuscript or screenplay), and I'll need to hire an artist. As such, this is currently on the back-burner.
  • Kali Led From Behind (Role-Playing Game and/or Tactical Battles): In 3171, Kali – who had split off from Kalika and became pure evil – attempted to wipe out the non-human sentients, using the KKK and like-minded terrorists to carry out the ethnic genocide. Six heroines – each one different as night and day – stood against the mad Goddess and saved the world. This game tells their story.
    This is another low priority, as it's essentially backstory from the rest of the action. The other tales will refer to it as passing.
  • Loyalty and Menagerie (Musical animation with both SFW and NSFW variants): Valentina Chambers, a shy, prim wolf beastkin, fell in love with Victor Pendragon when they were both children. When she learns that Victor's mother and stepfather want to hire a maid to take care of their estate, Valentina applies so she can be reunited with her childhood crush. However, there are complications. Victor's blind, his mother is strict and overprotective, and she may have to contest with Martha Honeydew, a bombastic and flirtatious cat beastkin, and Sarah “Scrapper” Leonheart, a strong, outspoken mouse beastkin, for the job.
    All I have right now are musings which kept me sane and motivated while Nevada's hospitals were figuratively and literally thrashing me. As such, thinking about this for too long is painful. However, if I can get over the pain and frustration, I think this could be a great tale to tell.
  • Our Vampire (X-rated animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): A human male doctor, his Earth Elf wife, a human female paramedic, and a human male magician find their lives turned upside down when a female vampire doctor starts working at their hospital.
    I have nine chapters down for the first book. Yes, the characters derailed some plot-important points. But between Jackary's feedback and my improvisational skills, I've managed to come up with a course that will lead to a satisfying conclusion and cliffhanger for the first book. I just hope that the main characters don't flip me the bird and try to end on an orgy.
  • Passion Pushes the Pen (X-rated animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): Gwendolyn G-Spots is a world-renowned creator of erotic graphic novels. Gwendolyn is also – in reality – Sativa Underrake, a shy Earth Elf/Gear Elf hybrid, and a virgin who constantly daydreams about the people around her engaging in wanton sexual activities.
    It's difficult to write a mostly-lighthearted sex parody when the world is figuratively and literally falling apart. However, since quite a few of my NSFW mutuals could use a good laugh, I'll try to power through my depression and whip up a few more chapters next week.
  • Pink Beagles Monogatari (Comedy/Adventure animation(s) or graphic novel(s)): The stories of a superhero/good Samaritan team headquartered in San Francisco.
    I have summaries for the starting protagonists and elevator pitches for the episodes. I also have bio sheets for two of the protagonists. Since this one has been on my mind a Hell of a lot, I might try my hand at writing a manuscript for a pilot episode.
  • The Wife, The Husband, the Boyfriend, and the Girlfriend (X-rated animation): Ivory Caravalla, a Gear Elf, moves to Sin Harvest (the city formerly known as Las Vegas) with her husband, Sergio Caravalla, a coyote beastkin. Ivory lands a job with the Reliable Broadcasting Co-operative as a news anchor, and Sergio works as a Pit Boss in the Reel Deals Casino and Hotel. Their marriage is tested by two events. A disabled veteran saves Ivory from human supremacists. Ivory wants to help the man who saved her, and the veteran wants to become a better man for her sake. Meanwhile, Sergio finds himself tempted by the lead singer at Real Deels. And said singer has Sergio firmly locked in her sights.
    This tale would be comedy/romance/drama/slice-of-life/adult, with the focus primarily on open relationships, their advantages, and their drawbacks. What makes this challenging will be that none of the main characters are purely heroes or purely villains. They're well-meaning, but they make mistakes. As you can guess by my works to date, I don't have as much gray-morality experience as I would like. However, this is a tale that I believe could be rewarding and amusing, so I may take a swing at it after I complete my current works-in-progress.
  • World-End Accelerators (Fighting video game(s)): Four factions (the Alliance of Free Nations, the Neverblood Financial Group, Gold Heart Unlimited, and the Scorpions of Gabriel) face off against each other in an attempt to expose their enemies' secrets and achieve their own goals.
    Roughly half of the player-characters have bios, most of the player-characters and DLC characters have winquotes, and I have a few arcade-mode stories as well. However, this is stalled for now.
If you want to know more about The Stewards and the Sinners, and you're polite, feel free to ask. At the very least, I'll give you a few paragraphs as a synopsis.

Blooming in Adversity: A set of tales that take place on modern Earth... sort of. There are supernatural and inexplicable phenomenon at play, but the main characters are human. All tales are currently set in or around Las Vegas, Nevada.
  • Chaos and Blues: A wacky comedy/musical series. Basically, it's a westernized version of Nerima Daikon Brothers. Two scientists, an alfalfa farmer, a cocktail waitress, and a male stripper moonlight as “Sempre Awesome” a variety band that tries to hold concerts, but ends up contending with both criminals and the police.
  • It Takes All Types: A crime drama/comedy seasoned with law and the paranormal. A discharged police officer, an exiled son of the Russian mafia, two veteran police detectives, an assistant district attorney, and her general-practice-lawyer sister try in their own ways to make the world a better place. They meet often at “The Witches' Elixir,” a pay-what-you-can-afford restaurant run by vampires.
  • Jamming Mamas: A comedy/slice-of-life/musical series. Four middle-aged housewives form a rock band. They find themselves at odds with their own husbands, their children's schools, internet trolls, rival bands, porn companies, and noise ordinances.
  • Justice Yawns, But Never Sleeps: A spiritual successor to Night Court. A judge that used to be a stand-up comedian, an ambitious prosecutor who aims to be the President, a defense attorney that used to be a Christian priest, a deadpan snarker clerk, and a bailiff that used to be a professional wrestler do their best to deliver justice and compassion. Complicating matters are a variety of defendants and phenomenon ranging from quirky to reality-bending.
I don't know what I want to do with this project, or if I want to pursue it at all. I'm essentially rooted in Nevada for the time being, but the thought of re-staging it in Santa Monica is quite appealing. I'll probably put this on back-burner until/unless my writing career develops.


(NSFW) Adult Fanfiction: It's no secret that I'm a fan of consensual, romantic, 95% incest-free porn (I'm on the fence regarding consensual and legal hi-jinks with step-relatives). Usually, though, a well-written story can excite me more than a video or an H-manga. With that in mind, I said, “What the Hell...” and tried to write some of my own. I opened an account at the very NSFW Adult Fanfiction website (never forget Sturgeon's Law) and decided to submit a few stories under the pen name W4 The Mad Author. Here's what I have on my pervert plate:

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I'm a 43-year-old male living in the USA. I'm a software tester, a writer, and I'm occasionally funny on purpose.

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