Performance as life

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I've been thinking of this one Bo Burnham quote for quite a while and, having nowhere else to place my thoughts of it, I've decided to hypocritically place them here.

The quote goes "They say it's the 'me' generation. It's not. The arrogance is taught, or it was cultivated. It's self-conscious. That's what it is. It's conscious of self. Social media, it’s just the market’s answer to a generation that demanded to perform. So the market said, ‘Here, perform everything to each other, all the time, for no reason.’ It’s prison. It’s horrific. It is performer and audience melded together,”

And thus here I am, on a brand new social media platform, dumping my thoughts  because even knowing that they only matter to me, I'm still terrified of keeping them to myself. As if they would be stored in this one of the many voids I'm yelling them into. As if they need to be preserved for some reason. Thougths are constatly raining in our minds and he feel the need to store them in tweets, in captions in posts in anything rather than letting then run their course as they usually would. I feel the need to grasp at every breath that comes out of my lungs as if it not enough people saw it then it wouldn't be breathable. Is axfisiating and exilarating at the same time.

But it's mostly just sad. 

If I don't give the utter most importance to each and every one of my thoughts then I'll be faced with the fear that none of them matter. But that's not it, I know that they matter, they matter to me and to the people that love me, but that's not enogh. They need to matter to more people, they need to be discussed, they need to be relevant to the whole human race, maybe for a couple centuries if possible. Because so many others have spoken before me, and so many other will after me. But if none of them hear me, how will I ever be able to consider myself special? How will I be unique?

Why do I need to?

This whole time thinking and writing and feeling came to be because someone I consider special said something that reached me and now my ego or my self-consciousness want nothing but my words to reach others in a similar way. The only thing I am certain of is that I should end this with another Bo Burnham quote, so here it goes: "Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own."

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